Letting our children struggle is hard—even when they are adults.  For almost two decades you hovered over them, cleared obstacles and erected safety nets to catch them. The “safety culture” demanded that our children wear body armor to ride a bike.  We put tracker-apps on phones and argued with teachers over grades.  Any hardship or injury was seen as a failure in parenting. 

How many times were you asked that question as you traveled with the family, whether on Summer vacation, or for the holiday gatherings? “Not quite” or “Almost” never seemed to satisfy.

Do you find yourself asking that question with respect to your role as a parent? “Are we done yet?” In God’s Wisdom, the answer is “no”—and that’s a good thing!

“So how are the kids?” In many ways, I’ve come to dread certain gatherings out of fear of this question. Truth be told, there may even be encounters that I avoid so that I don’t have to answer this question. Yes, it’s well meaning. But, how do I answer it in a moment?

In most cases, this is just another form of the ageless greeting: “How are you doing?” Generally, I’m fine  simply returning that greeting with, “Great!  How are you?”  But when the question involves the status of my kids, the white-lie of the socially acceptable response doesn’t relax the emotional trigger that just occurred. Why is that?